If Thanksgiving Dishes Were Coffee Drinks

Last year, we asked the important question: if people were coffee drinks, what would they be? (And if you’re still mad that we said your brother’s new girlfriend is a Vanilla Latte, well, we stand by it.)

This year, we’re turning the tables—literally. It’s time to ask: if Thanksgiving dishes were coffee drinks, what would they be? Because nothing pairs better with a post-dinner existential crisis than caffeine and questionable analogies.

Turkey = The Classic Drip

Dependable. Ubiquitous. Occasionally dry if you don’t pay attention. Turkey is the classic drip coffee of the table—no frills, no foam art, no nonsense. Everyone needs it to feel like Thanksgiving actually happened, even if we all secretly wish it had just a little more flavor (or gravy).

(If you’re on turkey duty this year, maybe brush up with “Yes You Can Have the Perfect Turkey” by America’s Test Kitchen. It’s a trusted guide with tips to help your classic drip (turkey) stay juicy instead of unexpectedly dry.

Pumpkin Pie = The Pumpkin Spice Latte

Obviously. The PSL is pumpkin pie’s frothy cousin who left the small town, moved to the city, and now comes home for the holidays wearing a cozy scarf and saying things like “I only drink oat milk now.” Everyone fights over it, everyone judges it, and yet—everyone orders one anyway.

Mashed Potatoes = The Cappuccino

Soft, fluffy, and pure comfort. A cappuccino, like mashed potatoes, is a simple pleasure that doesn’t need to show off. The foam is the potato’s buttery surface, and once you break through? You’re rewarded with smooth perfection that warms your soul (and clogs your arteries just a little).

Sweet Potato Casserole = The Caramel Macchiato

Sweet? Check. Topped with questionable ingredients? Double check. Whether it’s marshmallows or caramel drizzle, both are unapologetically sugary and 100% over the top. You don’t admit how much you love them—but you do.

Green Bean Casserole = The Decaf

It’s there. It’s fine. Nobody asks for it, but it shows up anyway because someone’s trying to make “balance” happen. The green bean casserole and decaf both exist to please your health-conscious aunt who “doesn’t do caffeine after noon.”

Dinner Rolls = The Cold Brew

Hear us out: dinner rolls and cold brew are the silent MVPs. They go with everything, never complain, and are shockingly addictive. You tell yourself you’ll just have one—and suddenly you’ve had six.

Cranberry Sauce = The Espresso Shot

Bright. Tart. Unexpectedly aggressive. One small hit, and suddenly you’re wide awake and wondering why it’s there—but somehow it pulls the whole meal together.

Mac and Cheese = The Mocha

Rich, indulgent, and slightly over-the-top—but no one’s mad about it. Mac and cheese and mochas both have one mission: pure, unadulterated joy. Add a little extra cheese (or whipped cream) and you’ve hit enlightenment.

Stuffing = The Flat White

Balanced, cozy, and surprisingly sophisticated. Stuffing is the flat white of Thanksgiving—unassuming at first, but layered with warmth and nostalgia. It’s the one you didn’t expect to crave a second helping of… yet here you are.

Gravy = The Espresso Martini

Smooth. Savory. Slightly chaotic. Gravy, like an espresso martini, is both comfort and chaos poured into one glorious concoction. Too much and things get messy, but just the right amount? You’re unstoppable.

Thanksgiving is all about balance: a little tradition, a little chaos, and a lot of coffee to get through the dishes. So whether you’re team PSL or team classic drip, remember—every dish and every drink has its place at the table (even decaf… kind of).

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at Rise Café Denver—and may your turkey be juicy, your latte be strong, and your relatives be on their best behavior (or at least entertaining).