Which Coffee Drink Is Most Likely to Get Invited to a Pool Party?

A ridiculous ranking with suspiciously accurate personality profiles.

Let’s face it—if coffee drinks were people, they’d all have very specific personalities. Some would show up early to help set up the tiki torches, others would ghost the RSVP and then show up anyway with a Bluetooth speaker and an inflatable flamingo. So in the spirit of summer, sun, and strong opinions, we’ve ranked popular coffee drinks by how likely they are to get invited to a pool party.

Spoiler: the iced oat shaken espresso is already poolside wearing mirrored sunglasses and refusing to get wet.

1. Iced Oat Milk Shaken Espresso

Vibe: Fashionably late, effortlessly cool
Invite Status: VIP—first on the guest list
This drink doesn’t even RSVP. It just shows up with a tote bag full of sunscreen, a perfect playlist, and an unbothered attitude. Probably “knows someone with a rooftop pool.” Wears mirrored sunglasses and somehow pulls off Birkenstocks with a linen jumpsuit. Everyone low-key wants to be this drink.

2. Cold Brew

Vibe: Brooding but still hot… in a mysterious way
Invite Status: Definitely invited, but might not come
Cold brew lingers in the shade, makes intense eye contact, and says things like, “I don’t really do small talk.” It brought its own cooler and will not be participating in any pool games. However, it will win at cornhole and has a secret stash of fancy sparkling water. Everyone suspects it works in tech.

3. Iced Mocha

Vibe: Life of the party
Invite Status: Always invited, always shows up
The iced mocha is doing cannonballs, organizing pool volleyball, and casually pulling brownies out of a tote bag like a caffeinated magician. Too enthusiastic? Maybe. But nobody complains when this drink shows up—it brings the good vibes and whipped cream.

4. Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew

Vibe: Low-maintenance baddie
Invite Status: Texted the host “I’m down if others are going”
This one’s not dramatic, but don’t underestimate it. It shows up in cute sunglasses and a matching set, snaps the best candids, and somehow ends up in everyone's Instagram story. Equal parts chill and charm, it’s the drink equivalent of a soft pop anthem you pretend not to love.

5. Iced Americano

Vibe: Lean, mean, no-frills machine
Invite Status: Only invited because someone begged the host
The iced Americano shows up, judges the sunscreen selection, and stays exactly one hour. It came for the social interaction (barely), not the vibe. Still, you respect it. It’s clean, strong, and probably drives a car with excellent gas mileage.

6. Iced Dirty Chai

Vibe: Hot yoga in the morning, dance party by night
Invite Status: Fashionably included, somehow always glowing
This one’s a little spicy, a little sweet, and a whole lotta energy. It brought a towel that looks like a Turkish rug and casually mentions they just got back from Tulum. Will suggest a group meditation mid-party. People act like they’re rolling their eyes but secretly love it.

7. Hot Cappuccino

Vibe: Misunderstood introvert in a world of extroverts
Invite Status: Accidentally added to the group text
It’s 92 degrees. Why did you bring a hot drink? The cappuccino knows it doesn’t belong here but is trying anyway. It’s a little foamy, a little fragile, and very much in denial about the weather. Still, it sits quietly in the shade and makes you feel kind of classy just being near it.

8. Espresso Shot

Vibe: Short, intense, and probably has a fake name
Invite Status: Nobody remembers inviting them
You look up and bam—espresso’s already there, arguing about the best kind of sunscreen and offering unsolicited life advice. Stays for five minutes, then disappears without saying goodbye. Rumor has it espresso once jumped off the roof into the deep end and started a conga line.

9. Frappuccino-style Blended Drink

Vibe: Glitter, giggles, and high-volume fun
Invite Status: Invited, but shows up with six uninvited friends
Is it a milkshake? Is it coffee? Doesn’t matter—it’s having the time of its life. This drink is thriving on floaties, Instagram Boomerangs, and poolside selfies. Will absolutely bring themed snacks and matching towels for the whole group. A chaotic good.

In Conclusion:
Summer doesn’t last forever—but your iced coffee era should. Whether you’re sipping something strong, creamy, bubbly, or bold, there’s a pool-party personality in every cup. So which drink are you? Come find out at Rise Café—where the cold drinks are colder, the vibes are stronger, and the sunglasses are absolutely mirrored.

 Still in the mood for more ridiculous coffee personalities? Don’t miss this dramatic coffee bean conversation—it's what happens when beans get chatty on a cold morning.